Today was what I consider the BIG test. You other moms know what I am talking about. It was little man's 2 year checkup at the doctor. I know, you are sitting there acting like you don't know what I am talking about, but let's get real. Moms get very little recognition for our daily care of children, until this day. The annual checkup is when we can highlight all the wonderful things we do for our kids: "Doctor you ask if little man can walk - why yes he can! Can he use a spoon - he can do that too! Can he stack a tower of blocks - YES, YES, YES!!! He is normal. I am doing something right. You mean he also gained a few pounds and grew two inches. MY GOD, I am working miracles around here, I am keeping him alive!"
So, using this logic it only makes sense that we want to shine. Things were going well for me today. Landen weighed in at 32 lbs and measured 361/2 inches. He was in the 90th and 95th percentile respectively, which if I am not mistaken is considered a grade of A (don't bother disagreeing, my delusions are all I have). However, this category is a little biased for Landen since he was born at 10lbs. Then came the section I had been a little nervous about - food. I had come in prepared for what I would say. See, little man doesn't drink milk and don't bother writing in with your comments and suggestions, I have tried them all. I hate milk too, so why shouldn't he? Doctor's don't like this answer though, they want to ensure that kids are drinking gallons of the white stuff. Here is how this portion of my exam went:
Doctor: "So how much milk is Landen drinking?"
Me: "Well, he doesn't drink any but I do everything I can to supplement..."
Doctor: "So he eats plenty of cheese, yogurt..."
Me: (cutting her off very abruptly and loudly) OH YEAH I give him LOTS of cheese, yogurt, and...
Suddenly a sweet voice cuts me off, very loudly and distinctly
Landen: "AND MARSHMALLOWS!"
BUZZZZZZ, WRONG ANSWER! GRADE F! You must return to pregnancy and start all over with this child. He will never amount to anything with junk food like that. Actually, my doctor laughed. I love my doctor. I wish we could be best friends. She never fails me. I guess Landen is just like his father and can't keep secrets. Next year we will just have to practice more before the big test.